Nightmare Club

Sadly by Knobody
(but Christine “The Drinking Macine” made me put it up, blame her)

Well the night began in sheer boredom. Typical evening before plans are made to do anything of interest, so I start calling around and nobody has any ideas (aside from Munchkin) of what to do, Stu and Guru say they'll call me back later. After much waiting, the phone rings and I hear Guru on the other line. "I think we're going to the Meet-market...that's spelled M-E-E-T!". Bored as I was I said OK...in so many words. After 4 coin tosses in Mike's favour I told him he was stupid for wanting to drive me and left to go pick him up. We met up with Stu, Ephraim, Juliana and Chad outside Monopoly. Yes, Monopoly...the godforsaken hellhole in teh center of Richmond Hill.

So we are standing outside and there are these two cops waiting in front of the door. Being the only brown guy in a 6 km radius, the obvious jokes followed very quickly...I think I was making fun of me...but you win some you lose some.

Anyways, we are standing outside and we start questioning why we are there, and joke about going to Stu's house instead. Stu informs us that it's just a chillin' atmosphere inside, and people are just sittin' drinkin' and talking, so we have to make this more interesting. So our good friend Ephraim, starts betting on who will pick up the most girls. Somehow Stu got his vote, but somebody yelled out that Juliana would win. and we voted unanimously on her. So we were about to walk in with our money on Juliana, when she stopped and decided to back out of the contest. We were all disappointed but this threw the contest on Stu, Guru Mike, Chad, and myself.

We finally decide to go in. On the way in the cops ask me where I was last night. YEAH THEY ACTUALLY DID THAT. They let me pass though and I look over in time to see Stu catching a condom that some girl threw at him. Damnit, Stu was already up, we gave him 5 points for that (which we later revoked upon learning that she knew him). Michelle Kwok was somehow there and she couldn't figure out what I was doing there, but I think she was part of whatever committee was organizing the event 'cuz, she turned out to be some kinda matchmaker that was supposed to float around breaking the ice between people. She threatened Guru and myself, to point out a girl that we liked or she'd break our legs, but not in so many words. Anyways, we looked around and the guy to girl ratio was like seven to one. ARGH!!! What the hell is that, not only am i brown but I'm forced to deal with a minimal shorty population.

After we sat down, I see another brown guy in the place, and everyone is making jokes about there being another brown guy in the building. I happened to overhear people at his table making the same jokes, so I turned to him and said what's up. So we made a friend who apparently goes to Waterloo, 3rd year. Can't remember his name so we'll call him "Other Brown Guy"...okay that's too long, he OBG. Pretty cool guy, it was a relief for both of us to see another brown guy, we were vastly a minority there. But I didn't talk to him long as we were a little busy, trying to look for some talent in the place.

After much failure around the board due to lack of selection, and after Juliana and Ephraim fell asleep, we decided to make things more interesting. Chad, Guru Mike and myself formed a committee where, two of us would pick a girl in the room, and the third HAD to go talk to her. We didn't impose any rules but it was understood that this wasn't a hi, bye thing. So we stuck Chad with Michelle Kwok, kinda unfair cuz the matchmakers talked to everyone, and it wasn't much of a challenge. Next up was the Guru Mike , we chose a girl for him and Michelle walked up to him and asked him if he picked a girl yet (keep in mind she doesn't know about our little game). So Guru Mike tells her he wants to go talk to the girl we picked for him, so she grabs his arm and drags him across the room. I couldn't contain my laughter. So Mike is standing on the other side of the room remotely close to girl #2 and talking to Michelle (never figured out what he was talking about, but it seemed like a good 5 minutes of waiting fro him to do something). I finally decided to walk over there and shove him in her direction, when he read my thoughts and walked over to avoid the disaster I was about to bestow upon him. Actually, I think Michelle initiated it, but I had no reason to shove him anymore (although it would have been funny if I did). So Guru Mike is there, talking to this girl and Chad and myself are amazed at how long he keeps it up. Far longer than Chad talked to Michelle. It was shocking. Guru Mike got major kudos for that.

Anyways, long, long, after that, the Guru comes back and tells us how we set him up with a girl that's finished university. That worked out pretty good, there was no way he could top that for me. But I had a feeling Mike won. Anyways, my turn is next, and they decide on the girl for me, sitting at the table closest to us (OBG's table). So I start talking to her, she was in 3rd year at UT Scarborough, don't remember much else, didn't want to be talking to her, but spent a good amount of time doing that anyways, cuz of the contest. I got bored and went back to our table. I don't know where OBG was, but he came back and started talking to us, and mentioned that he was only here cuz one of his friends dragged him along. Stu knew the guy and was laughing. He pointed at a girl and asked OBG if that was his friend's girlfriend. OBG affirmed it and I started going nuts. Stu pointed at the girl Mike and Chad set me up with. I started yelling at them in disbelief. But whatever it was all good.

After that I started wondering why we were all still there. I didn’t get any answers so we decided to go. Said our goodbyes to whomever we all knew there. Just as we were about to walk out, Stu started talking to some girl he was trying to mack from York. So we all took a seat, to let that play out. Finally after a good 20 minutes we broke out of that place. To leave, forever behind us, the nightmare club.