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Saturday, July 19, 2003

The Weekenders

I'm pretty sure Iíve used that title before, but quite frankly I'll do what I damn well want to. (Google search reveals that I have not used that title yet) I'm spending the weekend in Guelph in the vain hope of working on my work report. The reason why I classify this as a vain hope is that even though there is not much to do in Guelph, nobody I know in Guelph, I will still some how slither way without doing any work for my report.

Well what the bloody fuck do you do to occupy your mind? Easy, I read really stupid things from the internet. Case in point, Iíve spend an hour or two reading this site, http://www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com/ quite frankly the title speaks for it self. This is down right funny site chronicling a psychotic girlfriend. She clearly is nuts, but sometimes i think the man who wrote that is about on par with his girl friend. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you will furrow your eyebrow in confusion. Feel good story of the year! 4/5 funnies.

Nothing keeps a relationship on its toes so much as lively debate. Fortunate, then, that my girlfriend and I agree on absolutely nothing. At all.

Combine utter, polar disagreement on everything, ever, with the fact that I am a text-book Only Child, and she is a violent psychopath, and we're warming up. Then factor in my being English while she is German, which not only makes each one of us personally and absolutely responsible for the history, and the social and cultural mores of our respective countries, but also opens up a whole field of sub-arguments grounded in grammatical and semantic disputes and, well, just try saying anything and walking away.


For those who watch TV still, Iím looking at you Jon, are you about as offended as i am when your watching TV and that commercial about the man steal satellite comes on? Or how about the slew of commercials with the saying "you need music and music needs you?" Rarely do I get emotional from watching TV; at least not enough to arouse a physical reaction, but those ads literally make me grimace with anger. Here is where I go nuts.

Dear Satellite networks

Satellite networks: I am not a thief, I do not need your crappy 800 channels of mind melting drivel. Do not go around accusing me of being a thief. Broadcasting to everyone that stealing a satellite signal is moot point. All those who do not steal satellite knows it's wrong, and all those who do steal satellite knows it's wrong and laughs in your general direction. I can only conclude that them message was intended for me and that your calling me a thief. In my opinion this is bad business. Right now i so much rather eat a bowl of cheerios out of your satellite than have it receive a signal. If you even so much as claim that message was not intended for me, then what the hell are you piss ants doing wasting my time? And since we are all broadcasting specific messages to the general public....

Dear All Half Japanese, Half Ho-Pee Indian, black transvestite Amish folk who work for Satellite cable networks

You are all a bunch of Fuck-tards and I think you are all no good dirty stinking corporate thieves that are busy running Canada into the ground
.

Love & Rockets

Guru Mike

Iím not a thief, and if I was do not accuse of such until you have proof. On a personal note, Iíd like to thank Liston for introducing me to the world of emailing in complaints.

On the brighter side of things, today looks like itís going to be nice day

The One and Only,


- ?!?!@? @ 2:06 PM

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Thursday, July 17, 2003

Alberta

I was watching the national news on Global and they were reporting on same sex marriages. They were also talking about how a majority of people in Alberta were against this. They had interviewed some lady, who was against the new proposal. She talked about how the definition of marriage is the union of a man and and woman, two beings, becoming one. She also stated how this cannot happen between two people of the same sex.

As well, in response to the statement that "marriage is a right", she retorted by saying that marriage is indeed not a right. If it were a right, then the government would pair us up (men and women only obviously).

-----

Personally, I find this stance extremely obtuse.

The union statement doesn't even make sense. I mean, by distinguishing homosexual and heterosexual relationships in terms of marriage, the definition of "union" falls down to, "one penis, one vagina! No substitutions." Forget about that whole love thing...

Marriage is not a right? Hmm, how do you define a right? Are rights absolute, or do they fall under "you may exercise this right". Not sure about this one at all.

Anyways, what does the world fear about homosexuality anyways? I mean, fuck, grow up already.

- Liston @ 7:10 PM

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It is time to get drunk
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